For far too long you have been a prisoner to opiates. It has taken every ounce of happiness out of your life. Relationships have been destroyed as well as trust between the people closest to you. You have had a hard time looking yourself in the mirror and are fed up with the life you have created for yourself. The lies you have created have tricked and manipulated so many people that you start to believe your own lies. You aren't really sure what is true anymore because everything is so distorted.
You are so used to having something negative controlling your life. What if I was to say that you could have the same addiction, but to something that is positive that will improve both your life and emotions? When you first get clean it will take time to sort out your life. Recovery is probably one of the most selfish times an addict can go through, but it is necessary to do so in order to be successful. Focus on yourself first to get clean so that you can share your love and sobriety with your friends and family.
Figuring out what you are going to do with your free time can be a make or break life decision. So much of your time was wasted being high, or running after your next fix. Your motivations over time began to change and things you really have no love for became your priority. You will see that once you have some clean time and the numbness dissipates, your love for all the things you used to enjoy will return.
The motivation you feel to live your life to the fullest is extremely powerful. Many who go through withdrawals and get clean describe the feeling as being "reborn". It is important to realize that this drive will not last forever unless you work at making it last. What I mean by that is motivation tends to go away when you get back into a routine. This is where you need to keep things interesting and stay vigilant. Far too often I get phone calls, text messages or emails from people who have relapsed simply because they felt like they were bored. Do not let this happen to you. When recovery is new, fresh and joyous, start new hobbies and dedicate your free time to making yourself a better person. If you stay persistent and stay busy daily, your life will drastically change. The motivation will not disappear because you are excited to continue the new things in your life that you enjoy.
If you have an off day or two, do not let this destroy your recovery. Most importantly do not let it be a reason to relapse. Do not get down on yourself for missing a couple days at the gym. Do not start to beat yourself up emotionally and mentally because you ventured off track. Shut that voice out in your head and make the conscience decision to get up and go do things. Stay strong and active, and find things that you enjoy in life. Live your life the way you know you were meant to be: Sober and happy!