The New Year has passed and many people that are reading this article are in the middle of their withdrawal symptoms. Many are trying to figure out whether they want to keep going or give up. They are looking for a reason not go back to the life they so desperately wanted to stop living. How does someone change their life for the better once they are clean? How do you fight through a war of emotions and a physically demanding process that makes you feel as though you are dying? There are many answers to these questions, but I will tell you from experience that you have to want a new life and want it more than anything you have ever had because it's not going to be easy.
I constantly talk about the fact that we only get one life. People are free to live that life any way they choose. The thing that bothered me the most before I went through withdrawal, is where I ended up. I knew that I had so much potential to do great things but I was chained down by addiction. Every day it took more and more from me. My mind was so clouded. My life was controlled by pills. The thought of something so small, yet so controlling made me very anxious and depressed. When I was presented with the chance to get help, I didn't skip a beat and jumped at the opportunity.
When you enter recovery, you have to give your all. You can not half-ass it. It's either all or nothing. Opiate addiction is not the type of thing that you can nonchalantly get through. It will take all of your energy and emotion to push yourself to the other side. You will have constant mental battles for the first few days but they will become less consistent as time goes on. You have to be ready at any moment to fight an episode or trigger because they will come when you are most vulnerable and least expect it. Most importantly, do not give up! If you start to doubt your abilities in staying clean, tell someone what is going on. Do not keep it bottled up inside because it will take over your emotions and your actions.
It is very important to get your emotions out. You may experience a roller coaster of running thoughts and emotions. Many people do not understand why they are crying all the time, even tough men! This is all very normal. You have been numb for so long that your brain and body are going to take you on a journey of emotions until things level off and settle down. I remember crying all the time about the silliest things and even to this day I welcome tears when they come. It is a sign of having real feelings and not being numb to the world. Embrace those tears and think about how far you have come and what you are capable of once you are clean. You can do whatever you want with your life but take my word for it, there is no feeling in the world like being free of addiction.