I get phone calls, text messages and emails on a daily basis from addicts, family members of addicts and friends of addicts. The number of people I talk to in a year still amazes me and I love every minute of it. I have been able to tell within minutes of talking to someone whether they are truly ready to start recovery and transition into a clean life. So what is something that let's me know when someone is not ready? It is pretty simple because most people who want to get clean will do anything to get it. They reach a point in their life where they realize that if they don't stop they will die or lose everything they have.
People who are willing to do whatever it takes are the ones who get clean. When someone is not ready, they will tell me their whole story and then the magic word comes up, “but.” If someone says, “I want this so bad and I really think I can do it, BUT”, right then and there you already made up your mind. There is no “buts” in recovery. Getting clean is one of the hardest things in the world to do. You are changing your lifestyle completely all while fighting drastic urges to use. You are going against what your mind and body are telling you to do all while being extremely moody and lacking energy. It is extremely easy to slip up and relapse. If you go into withdrawal with the idea that you want to get clean but you still have doubts then you are not ready.
When I got clean I wanted it more than anything I ever wanted before. I educated myself on why I felt the way I did and vividly remember laying in bed in rehab staring out the window at 3am. My roommates in rehab were sleeping and I was feeling so overwhelmingly tired yet unable to sleep. It got so bad that I would sit up in my bed and rock. On the 9th night of no sleep it dawned on me that I deserve every bit of this pain and misery because I caused this upon myself. Believe it or not, it empowered me because I knew it wouldn't last forever. It made me want to challenge who I was as a person. I had more than my fair share of people who doubted that I would get clean and I used that as motivation to stay clean.
It's time to stop making excuses or reasons why you can not get sober. We are not talking about something petty, we are talking about your life! If you do not get clean you will die. Your job, finances, friends and family will suffer when you are gone. I understand that it will be tough to take away from all of them, you may even lose a job, but that job means nothing in the long run when your life depends on it. Look at your life with more reason. You are worth saving so turn it around and be happy again. Take on the challenge of getting clean and living a life free of opiates.