I get phone calls, text messages and emails on a daily basis. The number of people I talk to in a year amazes me and I love every minute of it. I have been able to tell within minutes of talking to someone whether they are truly ready to start recovery and transition into a clean, sober life. So what is something that let's me know when someone is not ready to get clean? It is pretty simple, because most people who want to get clean will do anything to get it. They reach a point in their life where they realize that if they don't stop using opiates they will die or lose everything they have ever had.
People who are willing to do whatever it takes are the ones who get clean. When someone is not ready, they will tell me their whole story and then the magic word comes up: “but.” If someone says, “I want this so bad and I really think I can do it, BUT”, right then and there you have already made up your mind. There are no “buts” in recovery.
Getting clean is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Addiction is extremely powerful and controlling. Going through withdrawals and changing your lifestyle all while fighting the your urge to use is stressful and tiresome. You are going against what your mind and body are telling you to do. You will most likely be extremely moody, lacking energy, have anxiety, and feel completely horrible. During this part of recovery it is extremely easy to slip up and relapse. If you go into withdrawal and still have doubts, then you are not ready. You must be mentally prepared for battle, because that is exactly what addiction is. It's a battle between your mind, and body. Both your mind and body are going to be craving more opiates, but you are going to need to be strong and fight off the urge.
When I got clean I wanted it more than anything I ever wanted before. I educated myself on why I felt the way I did and vividly remember laying in bed in rehab staring out the window at 3am. My roommates were sound asleep and I was feeling so overwhelmingly tired but unable to sleep. It got so bad that I would sit up in my bed staring at the ceiling for the first week. On the 9th night of no sleep it dawned on me that I deserve every bit of this pain and misery because I did this to myself. Believe it or not, it empowered me because I knew it wouldn't last forever. It made me challenge who I was as a person. I had more than my fair share of people who doubted that I would get clean and I used that as motivation to break my addiction.
It's time to stop making excuses or reasons why you can not get clean. We are not talking about something petty. We are talking about your life! If you do not get clean you will die. Your job, finances, friends and family will suffer when you are gone. Look at your life with more reason and realize it's worth living. Take on the challenge to get yourself clean, and live a happy, caring and sober life!